Why did this happen?

Why did this happen?  It’s a question I ask often but especially when tragedy hits. The answer that I keep hearing over and over in my head is:

“It happened not only so you could grow but so that others would too.”

One of my best and dearest friends asked this today.

Chelsea and Jenna

Even though I know the answer above, and I know that all of us that know Jenna and even those that do not are already growing more every day when we see how she fights, the answer is not enough. It sucks that suffering is part of this life and it sucks even more when tragedy hits someone that you feel to your core should not be going through it.

I am one of the ones that has already grown through Jenna’s fight. I have been through a lot in the past few years, losing my mom to cancer and then my grandma 4 months later among a lot of other trials. I have been in a season of not only mourning but feeling sorry for myself. Jenna on the other hand gets an awful diagnosis and after a night of us crying together she immediately does what she does best – grabs life by the balls.

Pink Vail, March 2018

She flew home, put on her wonder woman cape and with a strength I continue to be in awe of, and started the fight.

Vail besties surprise Jenna in Marshfield soon after her diagnosis, January 2018

Stage 3 b aggressive breast cancer is nothing to mess around with. One (in my opinion, awful, horrible) doctor she first encountered basically told her in not so many words that it was too late.

First Day of treatment at Dana Farber, January 4, 2018

Thank God Jenna did not listen to this. She did not accept that this was it for her, that death was calling. Instead she got into Dana Farber a week later and was told ‘it’s good you came to us now, it’s not too late’.

Since then Jenna has shown so much joy! She really truly loves life and it radiates out of her.

Seeing her laughing and dancing and partying through one of the hardest trials of her life makes me …… JOYFILLED!

Since that night in December when she was diagnosed, seeing Jenna embrace life, I am growing and embracing my own life. I wake up feeling joy. Joy in the midst of sorrow and fear is one of the hardest things to accomplish and Jenna has accomplished it and witnessing that accomplishment has helped me grow in my own life walk.

Pink Vail after party, March 2018

I am sorrowful about Jenna having to fight this battle but also filled with joy in seeing her continue to kick ass.

I thank God that Jenna is at Dana Farber, that she has a team of western and eastern medical experts setting her up for success.

Last treatment of clinical trial, April 19, 2017

I get pictures from her with all the supplements she is taking to help the fight that is waging in her body and I rejoice.

We have a saying right now – Let there be light! I heard this once from a speaker. She was struggling with what to say to a friend who was battling cancer and all she kept hearing was “let there be light”. Feeling totally lame she called her friend and said ‘I am so sorry but all I have for you is “let there be light” and it is my constant prayer.’ The friend said oookkkaayy and hung up. Later that week she called back crying. The doctor was showing her the scans and said ‘see these darks spots are cancer, when they become light it means the cancer is gone.’

So Jenna my seester – LET THERE BE LIGHT and thank you so so so much for showing me that there is waaaay more to life than a diagnosis –

... life is meant to be


Pink Vail, March 2018